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No need to go to war over license mistake

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OK, they caught me.

I confess. I’m turning myself in.

My dogs’ license expired on Aug. 31, and I am no delinquent. Please don’t shoot! I will go peacefully.

Our family resides in the town of Brownville. We own two beautiful Shetland sheepdogs, Diamond and Maverick.

They are members of our family, loyal, loving companions. They are well-behaved, well-groomed, well-fed, neutered, spayed, get their Frontline and Heartgard every month, up to date on all of their shots, and loved dearly by every member of our family. They even recently successfully completed the American Kennel Club’s Canine Good Citizen test and received certificates documenting that fact.

Alas, however, I recently failed to renew their dog licences on time, as duly noted in the letters (two) I received recently from the town of Brownville titled in bold letters “Notice of Delinquent Renewal.”

Admittedly, I should have renewed their licenses on time. My apologies.

I just hadn’t quite seemed to get to it yet. Every day that task has gone on to my to-do list, with getting the girls settled back into college, my son off to high school and fall football, lawn mowing, grocery shopping, etc.

Unfortunately, for the last 19 days, at the end of each day “renew dog licenses” among other tasks, has remained on the list. It kept getting closer to the top, just hadn’t quite made it to the top.

Aside from the heading, “Notice of Delinquent Renewal,” the letter goes on to threaten me and my wife with possible penalty action if we do not complete our dogs’ license renewals within the next eight days. It is unclear what possible penalty action means, but it sounds ominous.

One Adam 12, be on the lookout for a white male subject, 18 days late on dog license renewal. High-speed chase through the town of Brownville is authorized.

Subject may be harboring unlicensed canines; consider him armed and dangerous. Use of deadly force authorized.

Backup has been requested. Jefferson County Sheriff’s new MRAP armored personnel carrier has been deployed in support.

Or, maybe, a simple postcard as “just a friendly reminder” or a polite phone call would have sufficed.

In any event, my wife will go out and renew them. There is no need for threats, high-speed chases through village streets or armored personnel carriers. She is unarmed and is going peacefully.

Dick Monroe

Watertown

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