LYONS FALLS — A table of hunter-looking guys dressed in camouflage drinking Grey Goose martinis?

Where the heck am I?

Potato-encrusted salmon with strawberry glaze? Lollipop pork chop with sweet honey caramelized apples? Chicken with peaches and pecans in a Tennessee whiskey demi-glace?

Where the heck am I?

I'm in the middle of nowhere. South of Lowville about 8 miles on some country road off Route 12 on the way to Utica.

I'm at River Valley Inn. It looks like just another country bar from the outside.

Basic wooden sign by the road. Dirt parking lot. Beer signs in the windows.

It looks like a country bar on the inside, too. Flyers for jamborees in the entryway. Big, bright, open dining room. Long bar on one side.

But look more carefully. A cheerful hostess greeting and seating guests. Well-dressed waitresses in black slacks and red tops. Classy black tablecloths on the tables. A bar with not only Grey Goose, but Absolut Citron, Crown Royal and other top-shelf beverages.

Andrew and Megan Zuccaro opened River Valley Inn about six months ago.

Megan is the cheerful hostess and bartender. Andrew is the chef, and comes with credentials from major resorts up and down the East Coast.

Being a north country native himself, his menu is designed with the north country in mind. Chicken wings plain and simple with blue cheese and celery sticks.

Classic Caesar salad, but with a twist: a hint of white anchovy. Traditional prime rib, just a little different: slow smoked for five hours.

There's truly something for everyone. And if what we sampled is any example, it's all good. Really good.

Loaded nachos ($7.25) is an amazing appetizer. It was a colorful, impressive presentation — tri-color tortilla chips topped with real bacon, diced red onion, cheddar cheese, sliced jalapeno peppers and sour cream.

We were very impressed with the steamed clams ($8.95). A dozen beautiful, plump, large littlenecks were steamed in a white wine and garlic butter sauce with just a touch of marinara. The only thing missing was some bread to mop up the juice on the plate.

Artichoke and spinach dip ($6.25) is like you've never had before. Forget that pasty commercially made stuff you get everywhere that all tastes the same. This is from scratch — chopped artichokes and spinach, Parmesan and mozzarella — it was cheesy good, served bubbly hot with the same crisp tortilla chips.

Katie delivered a basket of warm, crusty rolls to our table along with garden salads that come with the entrees. The iceberg was getting a little tired, but the Romaine and other veggies made up for it. Balsamic with blue cheese crumbles was nice; the house sweet and tangy strawberry vinaigrette was amazing.

If you'd rather not have a salad, you could choose Andrew's soup of the day.

His New England clam chowder, available every Friday, was thick and rich and creamy and clammy. For a slight additional charge, we tried his French onion soup: caramelized Vidalia onions in an excellent, flavorful, beefy stock. We all agreed — this was the best French onion we've had in a long time.

Chicken riggies ($11.95) — rigatoni pasta and chunks of grilled chicken in a spicy tomato/cream sauce — was done just right (we loved the al dente pieces of green and red sweet pepper), all held together with just the right amount of cheese melted on top. You can call your degree of spiciness, too — mild, medium or hot.

Lollipop pork chop ($14.95) is fun to say and was fun to eat. A 10-ounce chop from a grain-fed swine was frenched (the meat pulled back from the bone), grilled, and topped with caramelized apples, honey and a hint of Bourbon.

Tilapia tends to be a mild fish. For those who like fish that's not too fishy, this is the fish for you. Andrew's stuffed tilapia ($14.95) is baked with a spinach and artichoke stuffing, then drizzled with a lemon burre blanc.

Here's one you won't find anywhere in Northern New York: Georgia peach and pecan chicken ($12.95). A generous chicken breast is smothered in a honey and whiskey demi-glace, topped with peaches and pecans. Quite a delicious creation.

Mashed potato sides were the real thing, attractively piped on the plate, garnished with a sprig of rosemary. Risotto was tasty but a little too soupy. Veggie sauté with fresh zucchini and yellow squash was cooked just right.

Desserts were OK, but paled in comparison to the great dinner.

New York-style cheesecake ($3.75) was a little too flat to be the real thing. It was served with a strawberry glaze and whipped topping. Chocolate peanut butter pie ($4.25) was a commercial product, kicked up a notch with vanilla crème anglaise (a smooth custard) on top.

Their signature dessert, made in-house, consisted of a double fudge peanut butter-frosted brownie with a scoop of ice cream on top, covered with chocolate syrup, strawberries and whipped topping ($4.95).

Good help is always hard to come by in the restaurant business, especially in a rural location. Our friendly waitress, Katie, was as good as they come. She knew the menu, refilled water glasses and kept the dirty dishes cleared.

Best of all, she was honestly enthusiastic about menu items. "That's one of my favorites" and "Mmm ... I love that one" were genuine compliments to the food. I hate wait people who deliver that pre-programmed line, "Excellent choice," don't you?

Chef Andrew emerged from the kitchen dressed in full chef's garb to do a dining room walk-through, greeting guests and making sure everything was done to their satisfaction. He's an ambitious and talented young lad passionate about his trade and his restaurant.

Dinner for four came to $97 before tip. Two rounds of beverages (you might want to try a glass of the Australian Shiraz) added $22 to our bill.

The Zuccaros have a good thing going here. It's in the sticks, but we north country foodies are used to driving for something that's a cut above. You won't be disappointed with a trip to River Valley Inn.

TIDBITS

I made an error regarding the monthly St. Anthony's Church spaghetti dinner. The dinner takes place on the last Thursday of the month, not the third Thursday. That means you can still catch this month's dinner this Thursday at the church at 850 Arsenal St. in Watertown.